You Know You're Obsessed With Avatar When
by Supergirrl
Summary: This is a list of all the different ways you know you're obsessed with Avatar. You can read and review, I don't care. It would be nice, though.
1. Chapter 1

My first Avatar story and my twelfth story overall, this is a onshot on how to tell whether you are obsessed with Avatar.

You would rather poke your own eyes out with red hot pokers than read a story of a pairing you don't like.

If asked to name the major religions of the world, you will respond without hesitation," Christianity, Buddhism, Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, and Avatarism."

Blue arrows are a recurring theme in your doodles.

Or flame insignas.

Regardless if there is a new episode, every Friday night at 8:00 you sit in front of your television and stare at it for a half hour without turning it on.

You have a shrine dedicated to DiMartino and Koneitzko in your bedroom.

If asked to name three major religious symbols, you answer," The cross, the star of David, and the blue arrow."

Every single report or project that you do is based either Avatar or the cultures of Asia.

One entire side of your favorite binder/folder is decorated with either arrows or flames.

After every new episode, you get online or on the phone with your closest fan friend, and have a two hour analysis of a half hour episode.

The analysis usually sounds something like this," Okay, so she took three steps forward, and started with her right foot, and ended on her right as well. When she stopped walking, was her weight in the left or right foot?"

" I think it was the left foot."

" Lemme check my book on body language…….Let's see, three steps starting on the right foot, ending with weight in left foot…………….. it means that she was thinking about getting something to eat!"

" Ooooh, now what about Momo's noises?"

" What sounds did he make?"

" Cheep squeal chirp chatter."

" That should mean………"

You consider non-fans the "unbelievers" and do not hesitate to tell them that.

You have every rumor on the new episode memorized, as well as your own theories.

You are seriously considering forming the Brotherhood of Cabbage People.

If you were given the option between being crowned Supreme Ruler of the World or watching the new episode, you would take the new episode, hands down.

You devote hours to pondering questions like what nation your cat would be if he/she was a member of Avatar.

You announce discoveries like this to random strangers.

Your family no longer questions this behavior.

It was a good idea in theory. Please review, but if you don't want to for whatever reason, that's fine. Don't bother clicking on a small button and having to actually type something on my behalf.


	2. Strikes Back with a Vengeance

The long awaited SECOND CHAPTER of You Know You're Obsessed with Avatar When... If you want me to make a third chapter, I will need suggestions for jokes in your review. The fountain of creativity is getting clogged up by leaves, people. Review!

* * *

When your brother breaks his arm and gets a pale blue cast, you spend the entire six weeks he has it trying to convince him to let you draw an arrow on it.

You visit an aquarium, and see the koi pond. You find a black fish and a white one, and spend the rest of the day desperately trying to catch one.

You are banned permanently from the aquarium due to above incident.

You try to convince your other brother to grow his hair out really long, then shave all of it off but a ponytail-sized chunk. It's already black, at least he won't have to dye it. You will provide the scar.

You do not speak to the aforementioned brother for a week after he refuses to go along with your brilliant plan.

You try to convince the brother who broke his arm to completely shave his head and let you draw a blue arrow on it. Why the hell not, you say?

You don't get what he's so mad about when you attempt to pull off your brilliant plan in his sleep.

You keep a detailed countdown to the next episode in your religion notebook, and when your teacher finds you trying to calculate milliseconds instead of taking notes, and ask you what it is, you reply, "My religion, sir."

You still don't know why the same religion teacher won't make eye contact with you.

Or why those priest people got so upset.

Seriously, what was the big deal? It's perfectly acceptable to accept a cartoon as your religion.

You can rattle off obscure details, such as how many times the reins are wrapped around Appa's horns, at the drop of a hat. Most of the time, you don't even need the hat!

When you tell random strangers this, you are greatly offended when they call you crazy.

They're the crazy ones, not knowing what Avatar is!

I would write more, but Avatar's on in five minutes. See ya!

* * *

I was writing this just as Avatar came on. Review, peeps! 


	3. Nickelodeon Heads Will Roll

Thanks to all my lovely reviewers who gave me idea, especially Child of the Dragon! You guys rock!

Disclaimer: How many fangirls does Ozai have, that's how much I own Avatar.

* * *

You name various household appliances after your favorite characters.

You have conversations with these appliances as if they were alive.

Then you have to deal with the annoying child psychologists asking if you hear voices in your head.

You call your friends who don't watch Avatar names of characters and when they stare at you like you're crazy, you say, "What? It's better than being called Zhao!"

Obessing over character bios.

'You can recite Prince Zuko's history by heart, name most of the members of the royal family, know why he was scarred, how much he hates his sister, ect.'

'Likewise, you know the history of Toph forward and backward, including her fighting style and clothing style.'

You name your hand after characters, and have them talk to your friend's hand characters.

When you break your friend's wrist playing the aforementioned handgame, and you have to explain it in court, you wonder why the entire jury cracks up and the judge's wig falls off since he/she's laughing so hard.

You wear a flame insigna in your hair to school, and don't understand why you get so many weird stares.

You've ever had a converstaion with your BFF and the topic that you were conversing on was Zuko's horrible home life and how it sucked so bad that you both could feel blessed, despite your own difficulties.  
You started to feel so bad for Zuko in above conversation that you actually talked your friend into forging Ozai's singnature on some adoption papers so that you could be Zuko's new daddy. And you're a girl.  
Upon returning to school the next day and while on your way to tell the world about what you accomplished this weekend ,another friend approaches you, unbeknownst to her about Zuko's current situation in your house, and with out even saying hello just pokes your tummy and proclaims, "Now You're Pregnant With Zuko's Kids Cuz You Love Him So!"  
The VERY FIRST thing to pop into your mind was, "FIREBENDER- giving a whole new meaning to the term Redneck" which then triggered a string of ideas, starting with Jeff Foxworthy's "You Know You're A Redneck When" jokes on to other You Know You When lists and finally  
Your school principal ever had to "save" your Avatar dolls from being posed in bizarre sexual postions on your lunch table.  
You use said Avatar dolls as a threat against unruley friends, telling them you'll make Sokka and Zuko make out on their books and backpacks if they don't behave and play nicely with each other.  
You regularly use Sokka quotes and jokes in everyday situations.  
You've made your own magnets to decorate your locker and the majority of them are random screen shots of Avatar.  
You've ever sat down and watched EVERY SINGLE EPISODE to date of Avatar with your younger cousins so they could know what was going on and not be confused when they watched the new episode that upcoming Friday.  
You listen to music and no matter what is playing, somehow an Avatar music video takes shape in your head.  
You have certain artifacts of clothing that make you feel like one type of bender or another when you wear them.  
You wear a necklace that consists of this blue jewel wrapped in silver wire that connected it to a navy blue ribbon simply because it reminds you of Katara's necklace.  
You once wore a similar necklace like that and lost it. Instantly you were compelled to walk up to the guy who looked the most like Zuko and DEMAND he give it back.  
Your best guy friend and you argue constantly over whether or not Aang and Katara kissed in the second season's second episode, Cave of Two Lovers.  
You and your friends have actually sat down and made up a totally wacked out list of the stages of life Aang will go through that goes something like...Age 13: Goth; Age 14: Rapper; Age 16: Hippie; Age 17: Stripper; Age 25: Terminator-like Macho Buff Guy; Age 50: Nudist...and so on and so forth...  
You've made your one Avatar plushie dolls.  
And you can dress them in different outfits.  
And you sleep with them. ALLof them.  
But only Zuko gets the area right next to your chest between your cleavage. And under your shirt for extra warmth in the winter.  
You cried when Mako died. Heavily. Even harder when you remembered the episode in which Iroh almost died as well.  
You have burned CDs filled with songs that all remind you of Avatar.  
You have long debates with your friend about Sokka's bending abilities (or lack there of).  
You sit and think about how many other fictional stories have similarities with Avatar  
And find A LOT of them amongst various Disney movies.

You don't understand why no one else sees these similarities.  
The Muses you had before the Avatar ones moved in are now jealous that you spend all your time with the newcomers instead of them.  
You go around saying, "give me the Avatar" instead of whatever it is that you actually want.  
You can go about and react whole episodes of Avatarperfectly right down to facial expressions.  
You bought Ginsing tea because it's Iroh's favorite. And you like tea about as much as Zuko does.  
You've actually considered dressing up like Zuko one day (scar and all) and acting EXCATLY like him because you were angery at the would and wanted people to BACK OFF OUT OF YOUR PERSONAL SPACE.  
You have your own personal pet name for Zuko, that is not Zuzu.  
You have Avatar muses you don't even WANT! Jet just FORCED his way into your head.  
You've contemplated whether it's worse to be addicted to drugs or to Avatar.  
Having studied Wicca/Zodiac signs before becoming and Avatar fan, sometimes you feel compelled to scream, "FIRE AND AIR ARE THE OPPISITE OF EACH OTHER! NOT EARTH! EARTH GOES WITH WATER!" This usually leads to long debates with friends over elemental harmony and the like.  
You've made up your own animal cross breed thing.  
And have a character that keeps one as a pet.

When you get dragged to the build-a-bear workshop, you try to make your animal crossbreed.  
Every night, you light five white pillar candles, and breathe over them, thinking that the flames are rising and falling even thought you can't say for sure since you're concentrating with your eyes closed.  
You scream, "LEMUR" before you chase down one of your friends.

They actually get the lemur joke.  
When your parents yelled at you for screaming "Jesus, Mary and Joseph" every time you got upset, you switched it out for something along the lines of "Aang, Katara and Sokka" or "Spirits Alive!"  
You wouldn't dare venture near the ocean when the moon is in it's new phase, being a Tykka shipper.  
You watched the movie, The Descent and had to watch The Cave of Two Lovers to make yourself feel better. Even then, you were worried the Aang Gang and Company were going to get jumped by creepy cave dwelling creatures who were gonna eat them.

After the most recent episode of Avatar, you had to give your Zutara friend an emergency counseling session, since she was in hysterics over the kiss.

You plan on wearing all black and black makeup in mourning, since you were so upset by the last episode.

You go to a specialty mall, and see a store that sells only tea. They even have mannequins holding teacups.

You take pictures of the aforementioned store, and give them to your fellow fan friends.

This store was probably the highlight of your entire life.

* * *

Reviews are nice! 


	4. Jin:Fandom's Most Wanted

Hey, it's me again! If anyone was confused about the last chapter's title, it was basically how I felt after the last episode. If you have not done so, go check out my Mary Sue series, they're pretty funny. I say definitely read the Avatar one, and if you've seen/read Phantom of the Opera, check out that one too. And if you're reading Phantom, also read Cape Swooshing 101 and Frai Du Diable. Just read all my stuff, while you're at it.

Sorry about that, I've been feeling a bit review-hungry lately, and more reviews equals more updates! On that subject, if you have any suggestions for this at all, please place them in your review or PM me. Thanks!

Disclaimer: If I owned Avatar, I would hand Jin over to the Zutara people. She would not survive.

* * *

You discuss Avatar in every class, with everyone, even people who don't now what the hell you're talking about.

You talk to the class pet when everyone else refuses to sit near you.

You are constantly decorating ALL your pages (even the ones with homework or notes) with Avatar.

Your teachers have stopped giving you weird looks.

They view you as a cheap form of entertainment, in fact.

Your war chant is "Death to the Earth Kingdom Whores!".

You credit your Zutara friend for this.

You constantly whisper, "Water Tribe" to random people on the street.

And the cable guy.

And the pizza boy.

And the cop who pulled your car over because you and your brother began fighting about pairings while the car was going down the interstate at seventy miles per hour, causing your ever-patient father to lose control of the vehicle.

You constantly have debates with your best friends, or father on theories in restaurants that are filled with people.

When your debates escalate to physical violence, you don't get why you are thrown out. You had a perfectly legitimate reason to dive across the table and attempt to throttle your brother.

Whenever you're bored, if there is no Avatar related whatever around, you make up little scenes in your head, i.e. Zuko singing Beverly Hills.

When you get dressed in the morning, you see what colors you have on to see which nation you are from.

You are a Zuko fangirl...  
...even if you're a boy.

You count down to the minute to 8:00 Friday night.

You read fanfiction like this one. Since you find lists like this woefully incomplete, you leave reviews with more ideas.

You wish Zuko would listen to the song "Numb" by Linkin Park. Everything would be better then.

You practice martial arts in your room and you've never been taught formally, or been within ten miles of a place that taught it.

You walk around thinking What Would Insert Name of Favorite Canon Character of Your Choice Here Do If They Were Here Right Now.

Whenever you're sibling says something quote unqoute "inappropriate" you say, "Azula! We don't speak that way!"

You use the same name regardless of their gender.

You named the stuffed animal you sleep with after an Avatar character.

After your dog ingests your brother's precious Aspect of Bahamat figurine(Whatever the hell that is.), the first thing you say to him after the event occurs is," There is no war in Ba Sing Sae. There is no war in Ba Sing Sae." while waving a flashlight in front of his face. It was worth a shot, right?

* * *

Reviews will be tokens of friendship that will be given to the canon character of your choice. And if you ask them to, you will get a hug from them. 


	5. All Good Things Come To An End

Hola! The bad news is, this will be the last chapter. The good news is, I will be writing a You Know You're A (Insert Name of Male Canon Character Here) Fangirl fic shortly after this. So, if you have any suggestions, place them in your review. I will be writing one chapter per canon male character that I get suggestions for, so keep your eyes open for that.

Disclaimer: I'm too tired to type it out. The obvious answer, I suppose.

You have a whole outfit I wear to bed at all times just in case I get dropped into the Avatar world while you're asleep. It never hurts to be prepared, right?

You have a carefully composed four-page list of questions you would ask the cast if they dropped into your living room.

You spend far more time adding to and composing this list than other activities, like school.

You also randomly yell ZUTARA! at random people at any time or place.

This includes churches/synagogues/mosques/temples.

You are convinced you can speak lemur. (yes, that's me)  
When you see a new episode, you sit in stony silence and drink in every word and frame. During the commercial you nearly explode with adrenaline/hyperactivity/twitching, doing a little happy dance around your living room, throughly creeping out your siblings.  
You constantly quote the characters. Even Appa.  
You know with out a doubt which nation(s) you would be/are from if you were living in the Avatar-verse.

You, in fact, know what nation all your friends/family/neighbors/political leaders would be members of.  
You smile out of nowhere, due to the fact that you replayed a specific part of an episode, and your parents say, "Lemme guess. Avatar." They don't need an answer.  
When you read a story, you picture the characters as the Avatar characters.  
When you can't think of what to call someone you hate at the moment you say, "You're such a Zhaozulozai!"  
They don't ask what that is.

Everyone at your school has a "Don't ask" policy with your weird little addictions.

Screw Lost, who needs it when you have the best TV show ever at your fingertips?  
You lay in bed, yet don't go to sleep for hours thinking of Avatar.  
You randomly sush someone who is talking and pretend to listen closely. When they ask you what, you say, "...Firebenders..."  
You notice little things like, Zuko's sideburns were longer when he gave Jin the coupon than when she told him to close his eyes, yet you don't notice things like, you and your teacher are wearing the exact same shirt.

Except your shirt is inside out and backwards.  
You watch episodes until you can recite them, expressions and all.  
If someone threatens you, you get into a bending stance.  
You wonder how to say Avatar words in different languages (Airbender, waterbender, earthbender, firebender, etc.)  
You wonder who would win in a fight, Toph or Azula.  
When you ask your friend, the argument goes something like this,  
"Azula would so win. She's a firebending prodigy!"  
"So is Toph!"  
"Toph isn't a firebender."  
"You know what I mean, idiot!"  
"Nah, Azula all the way."  
"Are you insane? Toph would so win!"  
"And how so?"  
"She could just make an earth tent sheilding herself so Aluza won't get to her and take her out!"  
"But then she'd have an advantage, with earth everywhere!"  
"So?"  
"What if the fight was on metal?"  
"That's not fair! Besides, Azula can jump."  
"Okay... what if it was on ice?"  
"Oh, now that's a whole different playing field..."  
These arguments are so in depth and intense that you would think you were trying to debate peace in the Middle East, not argue about cartoon characters.

Your parents have forbidden you from ever mentioning Avatar again they're so bored of you ranting about it all the time.  
You draw pictures of Avatar which you obsess over and redraw and redraw and redraw until they're PERFECT!  
And then you draw it again.  
You're the person who failed art because the teacher deemed you hopeless.  
You put every Avatar episode on your iPod.  
You made yourself a Katara necklace out of blue ribbon and a plastic sequin with the Water Tribe logo on it that you carved on with the sharp part of a compass.  
You buy a pair of boots because they look "Sokka-ish."  
When you insult or compliment people, you use Avatar names. (i.e. You're such a Zhao! He's hot like Zuko!)  
You went on youtube(dot)com to watch every single episode that you ever missed.  
Assuming you actually ever missed one.

You'd only miss an episode if you were close to death.

If you were on the deathrow, your last wish would be to watch the new episode before you had to die.  
You think death is preferable to missing a new episode.  
You write insane Avatar stories on fanficion(dot)net.  
You waste valuable class time thinking about random Avatar things. (i.e. Where did Ursa go? I WANT ZUKO!)  
You scorn every other show on every other channel.  
When Nickelodeon decides to cancel a show, you say, "I don't care, just as long as it's not Avatar."  
If they do decide to cancel Avatar, you say, "I'll sacrifice every show on Nickelodeon, just KEEP AVATAR!"  
You would have a funeral and wear black for the rest of your life if they ever cancelled Avatar.  
When you hear the words "Nickelodoen - cancelled - Avatar" in one sentence, you scream and throw a temper tantrum.  
Anyone who threatens to take away Avatar doesn't come home from the hospital for a few weeks.  
Anyone who insults Avatar suffers the same fate.  
When you're bored, you rename all of your stuffed animals after Avatar things. The pig is named Jin.  
You plan to hunt down and kill Jin.  
You made up a name for Jin. And not a good one. (i.e. "that little bitch of a Mary-Sue!")  
Appa has the reins tied around his horns FOUR times!  
When you're on sugar high/drug high/drunk, you think you are a character from Avatar and try to set things on fire (i.e. Jin...)  
You want to kill Jin.  
And Song.

You would kill them in a way that would make them wish that ants were eating out their eyebals while sharks sloooooowwwly nibbled away at their feet, your way of killing them would be so bad.  
During class, you will turn to your friends and say "Look at that dust cloud! It's so...poofy! Poof!"  
Sadly enough, they actually get it.  
You randomly shriek "Frindly mushroom! Mushy giant friend!"  
You randomly shriek "DRINK CACTUS JUICE! IT'LL QUENCH YA! NOTHING'S QUENCHIER! IT'S THE QUENCHIEST!".

Especially when it is dead silent, like during a funeral or a coronation, or whatnot.  
After putting Avatar episodes on your iPod, you watch it everywhere. (i.e. while eating breakfast, while doing your homework, while pretending to go to bed, while brushing your teeth, while doing your hair, when you're in class...)

Basically everywhere.

After watching "Cast Away", you go out and buy a white volleyball. You paint Momo's head on it with red paint... or blood... and name him Momo Wilson. You spend hours having animated discussions with Momo Wilson, and your parents don't ask who you are talking to. They know well enough. When you and Momo Wilson disagree on a particular shipping, you get pissed and throw him across the nearest highway. You then realize what you have done and frantically try to cross with cars speeding by and successfully retrieve your precious ball. Then, you take Momo Wilson fishing. Without your knowledge, he falls into the water and drifts out swimming distance. When you realize what happened, you risk your life trying to get the ball back, and when you fail, you cry and let your paddles drift away. Your father, who by now thinks you are a pathetic bum, cranks up the motor to the boat and goes to shore. You make a mini funeral for your lost friend.

You refer to the moon as a "she" and treat her with great respect.

You listen to songs and relate them to Avatar. If it's nearly impossible, you make up little one-shots and drabbles about it.

You put off homework and important projects to read fanfiction.

You have no idea what to name your characters in a modern fairy tale, so you name the evil step sisters Azula and Mai.

You name your pet after an Avatar animal.

The word "Jin" results in seizure-like twitching and swearing from you.

God save Avatar, you say.

* * *

Review, and I will give you all a mention in the sequel. Thanks for sticking with me, this is my first multi-chapter fic that I have completely finished! Woot! Go check out my other stuff if you want to leave a review, please!

I remain, reviewers, your obedient authoress,

O.G.


	6. My Farewell Chapter

I'm sorry that I haven't written a sequel, like I promised, but I'm afraid that the sequel won't be happening(My explanation is at the end of the chapter). As a consolation, I wrote this bonus chapter, something I hope you enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Avatar.

* * *

You have a pre-avatar ritual, which you righteously perform before every episode. It takes you three hours to complete this ritual, not including the hours which you spend watching the previous five episodes online. You do this even if it is not a new episode.

The ritual involves burning candles in front of a shrine detailing your favorite pairing, chanting, and sacrificing fruit to the gods in hopes of an amazing episode.

When you look up in the sky, you look for clouds that are shaped like Appa.

When you do see one of the above you scream 'APPA!' to all of your friends, even the ones who are unbelievers.

You also randomly search the sky for clouds from Aunt Wu's cloud book and when you see one shaped like a fluffy bunny, you are terrified of volcanic doom and don't hesitate to warn everyone in the area by screaming and/or running for cover.

You refer to the Loch Ness monster as the Unagi, and present a report detailing your theory to your unimpressed biology class.

You want to try cactus juice.

When your family has a reunion in the Grand Canyon, you spend most of the weekend in the hospital, due to poisoning from the half-dozen cacti you sampled juice from.

You make valiant attempts to convince anyone who will listen/watch that you are a bender.

You insist that instead of going to the Dominican Republic for your family vacation, you want to go to Ba Sing Sae and throw a temper tantrum on the plane when your parents refuse and try to tell you that it's not a real place.

When you try to explain to them (after your tantrum) that you need to go help the Avatar overthrow the Dai Lee, they totally ignore you and you end up throwing another one.

You are forbidden to ever fly with this airline again.

You are convinced that during the Solar Eclipse you must travel to the fire nation to help overthrow the Fire Lord.

You want to travel to the North Pole so you can meet the Northern Water Tribe.

You buy all of the avatar episodes possible and them stay up all night so you can watch them all in order.

During a full moon, you just like to sit and stare at it.

When you visit the zoo, you ask where you can find the platypus bears.

When you are told that no such animal exists, you cause quite a spectacle as you storm from the zoo, threatening to sue.

All the people you know with similar names to Avatar characters get renamed. For example, Zack becomes Zuko, Katherine becomes Katara, and Tom becomes Toph.

When you switch peoples' names to their character names, you disregard gender.

Upon being grounded from the TV and missing the newest episode of Avatar, you ask Ozai-Or as your ignorant siblings call him, Dad-why he didn't just burn half your face off and make it less painful.

When you receive your punishment for the above action (You have to mow the lawn and are on garbage duty for the next week), you try to bargain with him, asking if he would prefer for you to bring back the Avatar and restore your honor, and more importantly, your TV privileges.

You try to convince your school to change the name of your sports teams to 'the freedom fighters', and make the school mascot dress up as Jet.

You organize a protest rally to march to the Nickelodeon headquarters to demand another season of Avatar.

When that doesn't work, you make plans to hold DiMartino or Koneitzkos' children hostage until you get a new episode.

You actually pull off the above plan, and probably would have gotten away with it if your mom hadn't come into your room to look for her car keys.

You know you're obsessed with Avatar when you write lists like this.

You know you're obsessed with Avatar when you review lists like this.

I guess that means we're all obsessed with Avatar.

* * *

To all the fans who were hoping to see a sequel to this: I'm sorry, but I've left the Avatar fandom, mostly because my Avatar muse has dried up. I hope you enjoyed it, and aren't too mad at me for not writing a sequel! I hope you all have many happy fic-readings and see lots of cool new episodes, hopefully starting this fall.

Your Devoted Authoress,

Supergirrl.


End file.
